Daily Readings

July 03

SLAA Daily Reading

Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous

Date
July 03
Theme
SELF-DEFINED SOBRIETY
Quote
Those of us who tried to deceive ourselves in the way we defined our sex and love addiction either found ourselves slipping back into the old behavior, or getting into real trouble with our new “steps forward.” We learned the hard way that there was no such thing as half-surrender.
Source
S.L.A.A. Basic Text, Page 72
Reflection
Defining bottom lines was difficult for me. Half-surrender led me straight back to the dishonesty that had ruined my first marriage. My bottom lines such as “no contact with a qualifier” and “no sex outside of a committed relationship” were clear and cast a wide umbrella over a range of behaviors that I knew led me to act out. But this didn’t address accessory behaviors such as looking at photos, letters or emails, or listening to songs that reminded me of qualifiers. Sobriety definitions are self-correcting if we are working a program. If I give myself too much freedom and independent choice, I find myself engaged once again in the behaviors that got me into the rooms in the first place. If I draw the lines too harshly, the program becomes an unsustainable system of “no,” a breeding ground for joyless hanging on. My commitment is to get to the truth about myself. I seek to define my sobriety as accurately as I possibly can and live faithfully to it. As more is revealed, with the help of my sponsor, I adjust. Over time, as the plan approximates the truth more and more, I receive safety from a fall and experience the blossoming of my true self.
Affirmation
I experience freedom and joy maintaining my self-defined bottom lines.

Just For Today

Narcotics Anonymous

Date
July 03
Theme
Quiet time
Quote
"Many of us have found that setting aside quiet time for ourselves is helpful in making conscious contact with our Higher Power."
Source
Basic Text, p. 95
Reflection
Most of us pay lip-service to the value of conscious contact with a Higher Power. Yet how many of us consistently take time to improve that conscious contact? If we've not already established a regular regimen of prayer and meditation, today is the day to start one. A "quiet time" need not be long. Many of us find that twenty to thirty minutes is enough time to quiet ourselves, focus our attention with a spiritual reading, share our thoughts and concerns in prayer, and take a few moments to listen for an answer in meditation. Our "quiet time" need not be lengthy to be effective, provided it is consistent. Twenty minutes taken once a month to pray will probably do little but frustrate us with the poor quality of our conscious contact. Twenty minutes taken regularly each day, however, renews and reinforces an already lively contact with our Higher Power. In the hustle and bustle of the recovering addict's day, many of us end up going from morning to night without taking time out to improve our conscious contact with the God we've come to understand. However, if we set aside a particular time of the day, every day, as "quiet time," we can be sure that our conscious contact will improve.
Affirmation
I will set aside a few moments, once I finish reading today's entry, to pray and meditate. This will be the beginning of a new pattern for my recovery.

Spiritual Principal a Day

Narcotics Anonymous

Date
July 03
Principle
Empathy, Connection, and Identification
Quote
"Empathy is the ability to connect with others at the level of the heart and the spirit."
Source
Living Clean, Chapter 5, "Friendship"
Reflection
Many of us have had the experience of hearing someone else tell our story. We love it when we recognize ourselves in the details of how another member went about "getting and using and finding ways and means to get more." Relating to the specifics is far from typical, however, so how is it that we identify with others' experience when, really, it's not our own? Identification doesn't require that we come from the same place. After all, hitting "rock bottom" often has little to do with our circumstances. Our willingness to give recovery a try can emerge in wildly different contexts. One member shared, "By outward appearances, I had it all. And yet, I felt isolated and alone, filled with fear, resentment, and regret." Another recalled, "The source of my desperation wasn't living on the streets. It came from that hollow ache of hopelessness, shame, and sadness deep inside me." Many of us will relate to both stories--and so many more--because they express the emotional state that precedes the gift of desperation. We share a few telling particulars in our stories because it keeps us in touch with where we came from and what awaits us should we return to using. We revisit that desperation and touch base with our First Step. And that's where we connect, too. Empathy has the power to bind us together regardless of our stories. One member shared, "The disease will tell me 'you're not like these people,' but my spirit can't help but connect when I focus on the feelings." As we stay clean and experience the Twelve Steps, our ability to connect with heart and spirit expands. Beyond the using stories that qualify us as drug addicts, we share a common path, a spiritual program in which we learn to practice living principle-centered lives. Recovery gives us access to the range of emotions we'll need to respond to life's ups and downs. When NA groups make it safe for intimate sharing, we can summon the courage to share our feelings--good, bad, and ugly--and make room for empathy to emerge. ———     ———     ———     ———     ———
Affirmation
I will listen empathetically, connecting to others with my heart and my spirit. I will disclose more about my emotional life so that others might connect with me.